Today somebody took a dump in our elevator.  I didn't see who it was but since I've caught a Murray (Aboriginal) urinating next to the lift and another changing her urine soaked pants in the middle of our arcade, statistics are telling me that it wasn't the mayor playing a prank on us.

It's not as if no-one uses our building, all floors are occupied and people regularly use the lift.  I start work at 8am and at the time, the lift was clean.  Matty K rocked up at about 8.30am and said that the ground floor button had been pushed as he left the elevator.  There may or may not be substance to that given that he was the last to stop at our floor before the shit was discovered by Daniel at 9am.  The people on the mezzanine floor may or may not use the lift, generally they don't and I think the people on the second floor start at 9am so they may have seen and reported the egg before Dan arrived at work.

I'm not quite sure and can't quite remember every detail but this cat has had a very fortunate life. I remember one day in about 1994, coming home from work to find out that we now owned a grey cat. At the time I was living with The Springman. He went to a veterinary clinic for some reason; I can't remember what; and he come home with a cat. Springy doesn't even like cats so I was actually shocked to learn that we had one. The cat had nothing going for it, Springy not liking cats and me not liking grey cats. He said that she would be destroyed if he didn't take her.

By a stroke of good luck I arrived late enough not to be held up and not too late as to have arrived after the ceremony had begun. I thought that I had read somewhere that we needed to arrive 30mins before the ceremony to be fitted and not 2hrs like Jason Sorbello said after I had arrived. Whoops.

The ceremony contained no wardrobe malfunctions or spectacular accidents to my disappointment, however there was one notable incident where one of the university big-wigs decided to write a 50 min + speech. NOT HAPPY JAN!