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They're not maggots, it's pizza topping |
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Sunday, 17 January 2010 |
 At lunch time while helping Robin Thekkekara and his family move house, we ate pizza. Whoever turned out to be the last to eat pizza, closed the lid, sat the box on the breakfast bar and walked away. When we returned to the house three hours later, flies had done their work on the pizza leaving many clusters of maggots.
Earlier that morning we moved much of the large furniture including the fridge. At lunch time we were given little choice other than to buy our lunch. The Thekkekara's decided to buy us all pizza, figuring that 4 pizzas should be about the right amount. After we had eaten, about 1 whole pizza remained. Although 4 pizzas would normally be the right amount, it was very hot and everyone felt more thirsty than hungry. After eating, I stood up and began moving more stuff into the truck. We filled the truck and took the truck to the Thekkekara's next home, on the other side of town.
We returned around 3 hours later to find the remaining pizza on the kitchen bench. Mathew (the giant) and I were the first to walk into the house. I lifted the lid on the pizza and no less than a dozen flies flew from the pizza box. I closed the lid again and then Robin walked in.
I told Robin that the pizza should have been put into the oven while the oven is not on, to keep the flies out of the pizza. I told him that the pizza was littered with maggots. He asked to see and so I opened the box and pointed out the numerous places that the flies had laid their maggots. To Robin, it seemed that there were far too many places and because the maggots weren't wriggling, they couldn't be maggots. He reached into the box to touch the suspect substance. He gave me a look of disbelief and said “noooo”.
“I'm not joking man, they're maggots” I said.
He pinched at one of the piles, picking up just the maggots without any additional pizza topping and put it into his mouth.
“What the fuck are you doing?” I exclaimed. “You're eating fucking maggots!. I can't believe you're eating maggots. Since when have I ever joked about this sort of shit?!”.
He tasted it for a bit before picking up another pile and eating it too. Maybe he felt that there wasn't enough to tell what the substance was in the first go so he ate more.
“WHAT THE FUCK MAN!!!. Do you think it's feta cheese or something?”
“It might be cheese or something, maggots wriggle and there's no wriggling there” he claimed.
“I know what maggots look like and THEY ARE MAGGOTS!!! Put your glasses on and tell me that's fucking cheese!”
He had no case, why would he question me on this? I think he had gone mad temporarily. He picked up his glasses from near the pizza box, put them on and leaned over the pizza closely inspecting the topping. Suddenly he walked over to the kitchen sink and washed his mouth out with water. He then agreed that he had just eaten two pinches of maggots.
Later I told his wife not to kiss him because she has no idea where his lips have been. We all laughed when he explained what had happened. |
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