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I'll meet you at the boat ramp |
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Sunday, 11 April 2010 |
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Today I went water skiing with the
Newcombes. When we had finished skiing for the day I offered to go
and get the car and boat trailer. As we neared the pontoon for me to
disembark, Blaine, Mick's youngest boy decided that he wanted to jump
into the water and swim to shore. Renae, his mum allowed him to swim
given that we were only 50m out and that he was wearing a
Life-Jacket. I jumped out of the boat onto the pontoon and the rest
of the family stayed in the boat.
I pulled Blaine out of the water onto
the pontoon and we both walked up the embankment to retrieve the car
and trailer.
Blaine had just been in the water and
he was dripping wet. I wasn't sure if he was permitted to just jump
into the car in his condition. I had not decided at that time what I
was going to do with him, whether he could just walk the 200 – 300
meters to the ramp and get a towel from the boat or just let him hop
in as is.
Just as I unlocked the car I heard him
say, “Ronnie, I need a poo.” Oh crap! Couldn't he have said
that 10 or 15 minutes later or something? Maybe while standing next
to his mum or dad? The car and trailer were parked a short distance
from a portable loo and so I pointed in the general direction and
told him to go to the loo. This fellow is quite capable of getting
his pants off and taking a crap at home so I didn't see any reason
why I needed to accompany him. AND, since pooey arses are just NOT
COOL! Hypothetically, let's say that without my help there would be
carnage. To ensure that there are no smears I would have to be
really involved and be too close to the gun barrel for my liking.
So that statement, (“Ronnie, I need a
poo”) made my mind up about how I would handle the situation. He
would go over there and do his business while I take the car over to
the boat ramp and do my business. “Blaine, you go over there and
do your thing and I will meet you at the boat ramp just over there”.
He stood on on the side of the road as I hopped into the car and he
didn't complain so I figured that it was sorted.
I drove around the side of the bank to
the ramp in sort of a 'C' shape. The most direct route to the boat
ramp from where we were would be down an embankment and through about
200m of thick scrub.
As we ran the boat up onto the trailer
Renae heard Blaine screaming and asked me where he was and I told her
that he was over at the loo and would be walking over here when he
was finished. I dropped what I was doing and walked back up the road
to meet Blaine since screaming wasn't part of the plan. The road is
only 30m or so from the waters edge so you would be mad not to take
the road but it turned out that Blaine had taken the most direct
route and battled the thick scrub. From the road you can see down
into the scrub and when I saw him I asked,
“What are you doing in the scrub?”
“I don't know”, he replied.
He was a bit distressed and not
surprising since he had covered nearly 100m of dense scrub which was
over his head. I carefully climbed down the embankment to the edge
of the scrub where Blaine emerged without any pants on and a
chocolate coated bum crack. Renae was waiting on the roadside
watching us from above where I passed him up to her so that she could
start the decontamination process on his arse.
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