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Saturday, 06 August 2005 |
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When you or I let a ripper go we know about it, but with old people its different, you can almost trick them into thinking that they have farted. My ol' mate Pete lives in a retirement village (Carlyle Gardens) and being the prankster he is, he bought himself a farting machine.
At Carlyle Gardens they have a combined bar and restaurant. This particular day Pete brought his farting machine along to generally annoy the other residents. Most know that he has the machine but i guess some still are unaware of his cunning antics. What he does is sneaks up behind someone and slips the fart machine under their chair. Although the sound is a bit electronic, if you aren't too close or your hearing is a bit off it really sounds like a ripping fart. The machine is triggered by a remote control so Pete waits until the victim shifts in his or her chair and then pushes the button.
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Pete up to no good
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Just like when you were at school there are other pranksters who just want to join in, and to make the prank even more unsuspecting, someone else would go and stash the machine under a chair. During the evening while people were dining in the restaurant some old guy went and stashed the farting machine under his mates chair.
This fellow was sitting next to his wife when the button was pushed, everyone at the table pretended not to hear anything, there was a short silence and they resumed talking. |
Inconspicuously the victim of the prank sniffed the air to make sure the fart wasn't smelly. But the victim didn't think it was him who farted, he thought it was his wife. The bar staff and others who knew about the prank watched as the couple looked at each other in disgust without saying anything.
The smelly fart
We were standing at the bar, Dianne, Pete and myself on one side and the bartender on the other. The funny thing about it all was that everyone was huddled in so tight, the bartender was leaning right over and the three of us were shoulder to shoulder. Suddenly i had the urge to slip a little bubble out. When its really small you tend to take the chance that its not going to be stinking and if you walk away you attract unwanted attention so i let three little bubbles pop and man, it was PURE SHIT!!
Holy fuck, it was rotten and we all met with the stench at the same time. Pete was the first to screw up his face. He pulled his head back, looked at his wife and then put his head over her lap to see if it was her before abusing her. I saw what he did an i just burst out laughing and he knew instantly it was me. Dianne scoffed at Peter for thinking it was her. The bartender, she went on about it for the remainder of the night. |
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